Nevets Plays Max Payne (2001 PS2 game) [BLIND]

Let's Play the original Max Payne (2001) with Nevets (The Gutter Monkey)

Hi, humans. My name is Nevets (aka, The Gutter Monkey) and welcome to my very first ever experience with the 2001 Playstation 2 video game, Max Payne. As a wee young lad, I played many a PS2 game but somehow this one always managed to slipped through my grasps. Courtesy of a Classic Rockstar Collection, however, that I recently purchased from the Playstation Store, I now get to experience all of this games legendary slo-mo glory that I'd heard so much about as a youngster. Before watching this playthrough, here's a few things you should probably be aware of.

► This is a BLIND playthrough. Basically that just reiterates what I was saying earlier about having never played the thing before. I also go into this knowing nothing about the story or characters or other entries into the series. What you see play out before your eyes in this Let's Play will be all of my first experiences. With that being said, there was a tragic audio failure on our final episode (part 13) which negated our "blindness" a bit, but I dealt with it in the best way I could think of.

► I don't usually edit my plays very much. This is due for many reason, not the least of which being sheer laziness. If I die 40 times, I'll usually record all 40 of those times (or make them into a montage if I'm feeling cheeky). I also don't skip ahead to the "good bits" of either the gameplay or my commentary. If you watch this, prepare yourself to see the bad, the tedious, and the boring right along with any good that may or may not be present. No "good" is guaranteed, however, and all sales final. Watch at your own risk.

►I usually record for 40-minute to hour-long sessions (the median is probably around 50 minutes). I know I should cut them down. Everyone says cut them down. "It'll render quickly" they say, "It'll upload quicker" they promise, "People are more likely to watch shorter videos" they insist, "If there's a fatal audio error on your last episode you'll have less of a problem" they drone on about. What can I say, though. I play long and don't have forethought. It's a problem.

► I swear on occasion. I can't fucking help it. I get frustrated, dammit.

► Hopefully the microphone levels are satisfactory enough. I'm still relatively new with audio editing and purely self taught. And, to be honest, I'm not the greatest teacher.

Watch the complete playlist here (update daily... ish) or keep scrolling for individual episodes

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 01 (click here to watch)
Hi, humans. Today we begin a new Let’s Play/Walkthrough thingy for the 2001 video game, Max Payne. This is my first experience with this or any other Max Payne game so try to bear with me.

We begin our story in New York, one hour ago. We’re Max Payne, possibly a fugitive, we’ve got cool Sin City-esque narration, and we go even further back in time to three years ago when the pain started. We witness Max in his normal, happy life: a non-smoking cop with a beautiful wife and a baby girl — living the American dream. Unsurprisingly, this doesn’t last and our life is turned upside down, inside out, topsy-turvy and all other kinds of foreboding directions in a hardcore Death Wishy sorta way. Turns out the guys who ruined our lives were high on a crazy new drug called Valkyrie, or Valkyr, or Nuke, or Blue Meth or somethinanother. It’s bad whatever it is, and super popular. With nothing left to lose, we decide to don a leather jacket, a loud shirt, and a surfer necklace to go undercover for the DEA in order to infiltrate the worst Mafia family in New York: the Punchinello crime family (I think?). This has been our job for the intervening three years. During that time, we’ve started from the bottom and now we’re here: to the big fish in the criminal underbelly of NY. We only have two contacts in the DEA, Alex and B.B., and we need to meet one of them at the subway station. When we get there, things don’t go quite as planned. There’s gun fights, bullet time gone awry, I keep confusing the jump and shoot buttons, I wish there were a walk option, we become addicted to pain medication, we loot Cold Drinks, I can’t remember the title of Death Wish, we save a guy, he dies approximately 10 seconds later, we get really high and push buttons on heavy machinery, we drive a train, I do an awful Tony Montana impression, we briefly ruminate on the age-old question of where rats leave to when a ship is sinking, and we go live from the crime scene... multiple times. I die repeatedly and eventually get fed up and out of time. Find out next time if I ever escape this blasted subway. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 02 (click here to watch)
Dear Homo sapiens, today we begin our Let’s Play of Max Payne (2001) by still trying to make our way out of that blasted subway/vault area. As expected, I die some more, we’re safe for a very little bit, I have a long an arduous ordeal involving stairs, grenades, and crippling cowardice, we meet up with Alex, we gaze into the empty accusing stare of his eyes, we take a massive amount of prescription drugs, and we clean out a Cold Drink machine. After escaping the subway, we play it coo—er, Bogart as we head to a mob hotel where we meet up with the Finito brothers. They smell pork and we get in deep, dodging bullets, firing bullets, breaking into safes, reading letters, and being accidentally badass for a few seconds after I mistakenly jump on a desk during bullet time. We say no to money, yes to drugs, we find childlike glee in a vibrating bed, and we’re officially fugitives from the law — we’ve been framed, I tell ya! FRAMED! We walk through a glass window but are too doped up to react and I mistakenly assume “Lords and Ladies” is playing from a brick wall. We find Senator Larry Craig in a bathroom stall, we naturally avoid contact, we accidentally break a television set and a vending machine, then get caught off guard and pumped full of lead by some violent goons. We watch some fake news and see the aftermath of a dead party. We come across a buncha booby pictures, walk into a booby trap, and I fall off a ledge like a boob and have to replay a buncha stuff. Nothing feels right, we backtrack, we blow a thingy up and drop down through a floor, we read the diary of a lady of the night, and I dramatically dive in front of a gang of hoodlums, pistols blazing, and miss every shot. After rumbling down some bowels, we call it a day and end this episode of our Let’s Play for the 2001 video game, Max Payne. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 03 (click here to watch)
Ahoy, humans. Today we begin our Let’s Play of Max Payne (2001) in the basement of a mob-run hotel for dirtbags. We pump some bad guys full of lead, watch a little TV, read a comic strip, listen to a conversation about vampires, we get a hint for keeping sanitary in a kitchen environment, and I continue to mistakenly hit R2 to shoot and consequently continue to mope and complain about it. We grab the biggest key on earth and use it to meet and battle an exhibitionist named Rico Muerte. I clean out another soda machine or two, I complain about Max Payne’s scrawny frame and surfer necklace, and we go to the club. A man murders a slot machine, we murder the man, and all the baddies on this game talk like Arkham villains (or The Three Stooges?). We use our innate genius to figure out that the exit button opens the exit door and we finally escape this hotel hell. We investigate a pawn shop and I finally do a successful bullet time dime, courtesy of the assistance of a 2 foot drop. We walk into a room full of junkies and slowly back right back out. We reach Something More Sinister and I immediately proceed to blow myself up. All the pain pills are giving Max drymouth and we finally start utilizing our grenades. We sing some REM and head off to Lapino’s office. To do this, we figure we need to head through the money laundromat, so we grab some random guy to help us. We proceed to wage a one man war by making the most epicness of entrances. We finish things off by listening to one of the greatest songs I’ve ever heard. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 04 (click here to watch)
Hi, humans. We start off todays Let’s Play of Max Payne (2001) lounging in an elevator listening to some delightfully soothing muzak. Sadly, however, the show must go on so we ditch the nifty tunes for blood, bullets, dames, and Pulp Fiction homages. We check in on the local news, watch an episode of Address Unknown, and continue off to Lapino’s office. An APB means an All-Points Bulletin (I Googled it), never cut the green wire, we clean out another soda machine, and we finally miss Lapino but meet Gognitti. We chase him, fail at landing on a train, fail again, and fail AGAIN. After we finally catch our ride, guns blaze as we continue to pursue our perp. After several ridiculous deaths (39:44 is the successful run) and an embarrassingly long time trying to figure out how to call an elevator, we finally catch up with our baby-faced villain and peacefully resolve our differences (just kidding). Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 05 (click here to watch)
Howdy, mammals. Today we begin our Let’s Play of Max Payne with me sweating hard over the fact that I can’t find the “Resume Game” option in the main menu. Turns out, all of my fears amounted to naught, however, and, in retrospect, I should have cut out the entire intro to this video where I’m moaning and groaning. I didn’t though. Cut to 3:03 if you want to get on with things. Our getting it on begins at Ragna Rock, where we’re still on the lookout for Lupino. We find an atmosphere eerily similar to Queen of the Damned, mind numbing techno music, and I get exploded by a mysterious grenade thrower. I make a Fraggle Rock reference, a Paradise Lost reference, and I finally remember the title of Death Wish... I’m old. We see a cool overhead slo-mo view of a gunfight, I die, and we see that overhead view again (and it’s no less cool). We have to do several tediously awful balancing acts on conveniently placed beams, we brutally murder goth guys, I compliment The Third Reich (#NotRacist), I play guitar, I pound on drums, I shoot off pyrotechnics (and I’m just realizing that I probably could have killed enemies with them... dammit), we move around giant wooden walls, I fall to my death, and I redo a buncha the things I just said I did. We make it to Lupino’s... den? We look at some creepy stuff, listen to the ravings of a nutter, and have a somewhat anti-climactic boss fight where we end up letting down our guard for a sexy dame. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 06 (click here to watch)
Hi, humans. We start off today’s Let’s Play of Max Payne (2001) in the midst of a nightmare. After having been slipped a mickey by a dame with a gun, we find ourselves reliving the worst day of our life. We’re trapped in our old home, a baby is crying, halls are endless, and there’s an ominous blood trail floating in a void that we have to balance on. This latter part is the true nightmare of today’s Let’s Play. Walking it, falling off it, having to start over, the incessant sounds of a baby wailing the entire time, if you listen closely you can almost hear me slowly losing my mind. Luckily, however, we finally make it to the end (12:23). We wake up in another bad dream with a large man playing baseball with our skull. While he takes a breather, we break free and snag his Louisville slugger. Low on health with only a bat to defend ourselves and an incompetent nerd at the controls, we end up dying... a lot. Eventually we prevail and head back to that god awful hotel. We wrap todays playthrough up by killing a patriot, battling with Frankie, and partnering up with a new friend. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 07 (click here to watch)
Namaste, humans. Today on our Let’s Play of Max Payne (2001) we head off to the high sea (well, a dock or something like that) in search of a fellow named Boris Dime. Boris is a Russian turncoat who’s started giving his gangs guns to the rival Punchinello family — bad news for the Russians and ourselves. We’ve been tasked to put two in his head by our vodka loving compadre, Vladimir. Things go smoothly enough until we spontaneously combust after entering a garage. We get back on the horse though and things start getting a little better after that. We shoot some guys, pop some pills, operate heavy equipment, traverse a maze of crates, and we get our ill-equipped mitts on a fancy new sniper rifle. Shortly after, we spend an inordinate amount of time being stumped on how to drop a bridge. As you’d expect, the answer was literally staring us right in the face multiple times. We make it to a warehouse where all kinds of deaths and replays await and we get good and futile practice with our new sniping ability. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 08 (click here to watch)
Greetings, earthlings. We begin today’s Let’s Play of Max Payne (2001) by continuing our Charles Whitman impression from the last playthrough. Immediately after, we hit a check point that would’ve been a nice place to have left off our last video on (*sigh* c’est la vie). After a brief series of mini- battles where we get riddled full of lead, dried up on painkillers, and limping in the red, we decide to finally ditch the sniper and jump on an enemy-filled boat to fight Boris Dime, with nothing but a sliver of health (it goes as smoothly as you’d expect). We witness some enemy-on-enemy violence, we take some phone calls, pretend to be sailors, and enjoy the sweet, sweet pleasures of newly-found pharmaceuticals. We head down to the engine room and meet the turncoat, Boris, face to face. We make good on our promise with Vladimir and proceed to stock up on weaponry. Bogart references abound. Next, we have the bright idea of meeting our Italian nemesis at a restaurant. It doesn’t go well. We die. We die many times. Later, I kill a rat like a sociopath, we sing some disco, and head to the sewers. We head to Punchinello’s house where we take a break on Let’s Plays for today. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 09 (click here to watch)
Hiya, humans. We start out today’s Let’s Play in Punchinello manner, with my mysteriously audio blanking out for approximately 4 seconds (*shrug* don’t ask me). There’s dead bodies everywhere and we suspect the culprit to be either Mona or a cyborg ninja. I continue to keep a meticulous watch my bad language, we find bad guys around every corner, we shoot a fire extinguisher and it looks neat, we’ve become numb to the awe-inspiring technological magic of video games, we find the remnants of Mrs. Cleo, and we begin our battle with the notorious “Trio”. We actually stumble across an NPC who’s a worse shot than me, we see a disappearing/reappearing moth thingy, we play a little piano, a sneaky Pete sucker shoots us from behind a fern, we brilliantly take down a bazooka man (coughafteraboutthreetriescough), and we take a bath. We find the corpse of an unlucky lady, get another weirdly timed phone call, and we finally come face to face with Punchinello. We meet a new main bad guy, get doped up with V, and proceed to slip into the Twilight Zone. Lost in another nightmare, we once again find ourselves balancing across the terrible trail of blood. I rage, I moan, I complain, and I die a lot. About 15 minutes later, filled with hate and loathing for the developers of this game, I sulk and quit today’s playthrough in a sick and beaten mood. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 10 (click here to watch)
Hi, humans. We begin today’s Let’s Play of Max Payne (2001) at Cold Steel, where I’m still whining about the blood trail incident from our last episode. Soon, however, that whining segues into a new montage of whining as my unique brand of ignorance immediately drives me into a new dying spree having to do with lasers and my inability to attempt the obvious. We stumble across a dancing maniac, we find the final resting spot of T-800 Model 101, I burn alive after jumping on a giant grill, the game becomes a haven for booby traps, we’re introduced to Dick Justice, we grab some Cold Drinks, we ride a mining cart through an obstacle course (a couple of times heh), we’re once again cooked on a grill, and we finish off today’s video by being stumped about what our next move is. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 11 (click here to watch)
Aloha, humanoids. Today’s Let’s Play of Max Payne (2001) starts right where we left off — confused, dying, and replaying that blasted obstacle course. Eventually we figure things out, though, and we get moving. Alarms are set, I engage in panicked CQC with a sniper rifle, we ride an elevator, listen to Max pontificate using a cornucopia of noir references, we peep on some men in black initiating a self-destruction sequence, we look at a logo, we do a little detective work to find a pin number, and we free some junkies on lockdown and an ungrateful brewer. With the clock ticking down, we jump through an obstacle course of booby traps and bad guys as we learn some deep dark secrets about Project Valhalla and we try to escape Cold Steel. All goes smoothly until we find ourselves stuck in a decontamination thingamabob and become perplexed at how to get out before blowing up. After our epic escape (why do I feel guilty every time I use the word “epic”? Damn kids), we finally see our old friend B.B. again. Cue our next boss fight in a parking structure and the death of Warren Zevon. Before ending today’s playthrough, we learn a little more about The Inner Circle, Nicole Horne, and Alfred Woden. I don’t understand much of it, of course, but, nevertheless, we learn it. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 12 (click here to watch)
After having our meeting with the Inner Circle abruptly interrupted, we find ourselves... doing something. Alright, I’m a little lost in the story, I’ll admit. Although I believe we’re hunting down the red haired lady, Nichole, who poisoned us earlier in the game. It’s thanks to her that we had to travel that blood trail for a second time so, suffice it to say, I’m more that fine with tossing a couple of bullets into her. In order to achieve this task, we find ourselves running through a government building blowing away enemies left and right (and, admittedly, getting blown away ourselves once or twice, heh). We listen to thugs talk about movies, we run down stairs, run through halls, run into hundreds of booby traps, we clean out yet another soda machine, we head the Aesir Corporation HQ, and we find ourselves having gone full circle, back at the street where we started the game at — the end is nigh, humans. Click here to watch on YouTube.

Nevets Plays Max Payne - Part 13 (click here to watch)
Hi, humans. Due to some technical difficulties (damn you, Audacity!) I lost our audio for the final two blind hours of 2001’s Max Payne. Fear not, however, as I’ve gone back (thanks to the flux capacitor known as Chapter Select) and began again, right where we left off on our last video. Interspersed in this final playthrough, I’ve made sure to include some compilations of my many, many deaths from the original playthrough (I lost only the audio, still had the video and didn’t want to waste it). Anywho, we start things off in our laser obstacle course where we listen to an unnecessarily long intro from myself before we watch a death montage from my original playthrough and then proceed to die in real-time directly after. After this, we deal with more lasers in an elevator shaft, check out another death montage, and head further upstairs in our relentless pursuit of the evil Nichole Horne. Special note: When I say I’ve blown myself up repeatedly in the elevator, you may notice you don’t see footage of that in the death montage. That’s because this occurred when I originally tried replaying the level with almost no weaponry (as explained in the intro of the video). Further upstairs, we listen to some guys fawning over bullet time, we battle it out with a ton of Agent Smith-types (this really is a “Neo”-noire game, huh? Heh), we dodge deadly choppahs, we kill a family man and his co-workers, we take a gander at Horne’s personal PC, and we watch yet another death montage from my original playthrough. I add a couple of new deaths to that montage. After acquiring a good supply of pain killers, we immediately proceed to lose all of them. Finally, we make it to the roof where we watch our final death montage and complete the game: Max Payne. Click here to watch on YouTube.